sly-mcp:

whothefuckisalexturner:

abhortion:

ginnifergoodwins:

foodtrucker:

‘it’s not cold’ said the PE teacher with a coat on

#glad to know it’s international

#’it’s just drizzling’ said the PE teacher opening an umbrella

“running for 20 minutes isn’t that bad”, said the PE teacher from the chair

‘you’ve got to stay healthy’ said the PE teacher eating a mars bar

“Being on your period is no excuse.” said the male PE teacher with no uterus

(via rose-for-a-tenner)

1 day ago 689,604 notes

allthestarsonyourceiling:

Last night I went to Starbucks and when the guy finished my drink, he bent down and wispered, “Don’t let anyone dull your sparkle.” I just smiled and took my drink, and while I was leaving I heard the other worker saying: “WOULD YOU STOP TELLING PEOPLE THAT, NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR INSPERATIONAL SHIT!” and the guy responded with, “Gurl, there is no way in hell I am letting you dull my sparkle.” 

Oh my god. 

(Source: itsthethoughtofyou, via complimentsofthequeen)

1 day ago 351,531 notes

cowwie:

i love seeing people tag posts with their friend’s name because it’s such a mystery to the rest of us. maybe this picture of a flower is their favorite type and you thought of them. maybe this random text post is a joke they made last week or two years ago. it’s so nice to see people being friends and i really like it

(via complimentsofthequeen)

1 day ago 52,594 notes
hipster-trichster:


sneakyfeets:

angry-shaman:

sneakyfeets:

ill-icarus:

sneakyfeets:

metztlixochitl:

Our little house in El Salvador has steps like this leading into the ocean :3 when the tide is low, you can step down onto the beach. When the tide is high, you can step right into the water.

that wood would rot and be hella unsafe I would not trust that shit

sneakyfeets ITS LIKE FOUR STEPS

FOUR STEPS OF DEATH BRO
YOU’RE WALKIN DOWN THAT SHIT, MAYBE YOU A LIL TIPSY, IT’S SUMMER, GOT YOUR COORS IN ONE HAND MAYBE SOME SHITTY IPOD KNOCKOFF BECAUSE NOBODY WHO’S ANYBODY FUCKING BUYS IPODS ANYMORE
YOU’RE DROWSY, YOU FEELIN GOOD THEN BAM! STEP NUMBER THREE SNAPS ON YOU! IT’S ROTTED, IT’S GROSS IT’S EMBEDDED 6 INCHES UP ALL INTO YOUR LEG MAN AND GUESS WHAT
THERE’S A PARASITE SWIMMIN UP IN THAT WATER HE SEE YOUR BLOOD HE FEELIN LIKE HOLLAH HOMBRE GONNA MAKE YOUR WOUND FEEL LIKE HOME BAM STAFF INFECTION YOUR LEG GOTTA COME OFF BRO OR YOU DIE YOU FUCKING DEAD
OF COURSE BEFORE YOU CAN EVEN GET TO THE DOCTOR SO HE CAN SIT YOU DOWN WITH ONE LEG ON YOUR KNEE IN A COMFORTING GESTURE AND THE OTHER HOLDING A TABLESAW BEHIND HIS BACK BAM SMELL OF BLOOD ATTRACTS A MASSIVE SHARK AND HE TAKES OFF YOUR OTHER LEG BECAUSE HE’S A DISCERNING MAN SHARK HE KNOWS YOUR LEG THAT’S SHANKED UP AND WOODEN GONNA GIVE HIM MOUTH SPLINTERS HE AINT NO FOOL
THAT’S TWO LEGS GONE BRO. DEUCE BITCHES
'FOUR STEPS' MY ASS NATURAL SELECTION IS COMING FOR YOU

Salt water doesn’t rot wood.

SHUT UP NERD

this post was wild

hipster-trichster:

sneakyfeets:

angry-shaman:

sneakyfeets:

ill-icarus:

sneakyfeets:

metztlixochitl:

Our little house in El Salvador has steps like this leading into the ocean :3 when the tide is low, you can step down onto the beach. When the tide is high, you can step right into the water.

that wood would rot and be hella unsafe I would not trust that shit

sneakyfeets ITS LIKE FOUR STEPS

FOUR STEPS OF DEATH BRO

YOU’RE WALKIN DOWN THAT SHIT, MAYBE YOU A LIL TIPSY, IT’S SUMMER, GOT YOUR COORS IN ONE HAND MAYBE SOME SHITTY IPOD KNOCKOFF BECAUSE NOBODY WHO’S ANYBODY FUCKING BUYS IPODS ANYMORE

YOU’RE DROWSY, YOU FEELIN GOOD THEN BAM! STEP NUMBER THREE SNAPS ON YOU! IT’S ROTTED, IT’S GROSS IT’S EMBEDDED 6 INCHES UP ALL INTO YOUR LEG MAN AND GUESS WHAT

THERE’S A PARASITE SWIMMIN UP IN THAT WATER HE SEE YOUR BLOOD HE FEELIN LIKE HOLLAH HOMBRE GONNA MAKE YOUR WOUND FEEL LIKE HOME BAM STAFF INFECTION YOUR LEG GOTTA COME OFF BRO OR YOU DIE YOU FUCKING DEAD

OF COURSE BEFORE YOU CAN EVEN GET TO THE DOCTOR SO HE CAN SIT YOU DOWN WITH ONE LEG ON YOUR KNEE IN A COMFORTING GESTURE AND THE OTHER HOLDING A TABLESAW BEHIND HIS BACK BAM SMELL OF BLOOD ATTRACTS A MASSIVE SHARK AND HE TAKES OFF YOUR OTHER LEG BECAUSE HE’S A DISCERNING MAN SHARK HE KNOWS YOUR LEG THAT’S SHANKED UP AND WOODEN GONNA GIVE HIM MOUTH SPLINTERS HE AINT NO FOOL

THAT’S TWO LEGS GONE BRO. DEUCE BITCHES

'FOUR STEPS' MY ASS NATURAL SELECTION IS COMING FOR YOU

Salt water doesn’t rot wood.

SHUT UP NERD

this post was wild

(Source: petiteluz, via complimentsofthequeen)

1 day ago 891,990 notes

vortisaurus:

i swear, there are people out there who can help you amplify your abilities at things you struggle with by massive amounts just by being around

and the ones who recognize that they help you and do their best to continue to deserve the world

find them

find them and make sure they are appreciated forever

1 day ago 5 notes

pineplapple:

In New Zealand our drinking age is 18 but the drink driving tolerance for under 20s is zero and my friend who’s a cop said he gets great pleasure out of breathalising sober under 20 year olds and watching the terror fill their face as he tells them they’re 10 times over the legit drinking limit cause ten times zero is still zero

(via rose-for-a-tenner)

1 day ago 136,030 notes